Trains, rainbows, music and mechanics... oh my

First: I am a PROUD mother of 2 Autistic children. That has everything to do with what I'm about to post. I want to help you see and feel the world the way I experience it...through the beautiful, blue eyes and deep feelings of my two, strong, incredibly capable, funny,caring, thoughtful,  and all around amazing children.

Recently, I've been seeing a lot of posts about vaccines vs "anti-vaxxers".   I'm sick of people using this as a ground to trash-talk Autism. I am very tired of people saying they don't want to vaccinate their children because they are afraid of them "getting Autism". All I will say to that is: no matter your stance on that be sure you do a lot of research before sticking to your decision, whatever that may be. Autism should never be your reason to not vaccinate.

 I'm also frustrated with people saying "I'm sorry" when you announce your child has Autism. As if Autistic children are lesser beings.. broken, deformed, something to be ashamed of and unloved. How rude and judgmental.  Yes, it is factual that parents of Autistic children do have a longer road and more hurdles.  In the end, I think, that makes it more rewarding. Not only do we get to see how their eyes light up, when they are excited over having a breakthrough but, we are also blessed to be able to see the world in a beautiful way we never even knew existed. It's a shame that so many people can't see that and some don't even want to. If you take the time to get to know an Autistic person, (because, yes, those children do grow into adults) you, too, can see their world. Nothing compares to it.

Allow me to give you an example.

You are heading home after a visit in town. You've grocery shopped, went to the post office, visited your local movie rental store (yes, those do still exist), you and your children are tired. You all just want to go home and unwind.

On your way home, you get stopped by a train. Of course not in the middle or near the end.. it's that situation where the arms are just coming down and the train is still quite a way from the crossing.. ugh.. you think... now this is going to be loud and take even longer. I wish I could just drive around those arms. *eye roll* Am I right?

In your backseat are your two children ever so excited and overwhelmed at the same time.

Now imagine you see all these colors. All these beautiful, bright, colors! The blue sky, the white clouds, the brown trees, the grey car interior. Wow look at those big sticks with stripes and lights! How do those work? How do they know the train is coming? Oh boy, now colors are flying by so fast! Red, green, rusty orange, black, oh yay and pictures on the cars, too?!! Look at those wheels on that train! The way they all work together. How fascinating that each car is connected to the next one. They all have their own purpose.. I wonder what that could be. How are they connected? The horn is so loud. How does it work? It's going so fast with all the cars connected, the wheels are all connected, rolling on the track, how do they stay there, how do they get on the track, how does it go so fast, where is it going, look that car is different...why is it different... the wheels on the train are different than our car... why doesn't the car drive on the track.. why doesn't the train drive on the road... does it run on gas... where is the engine.. I think I need a book about trains.. I'm going to play with my trains when I get home. I want to drive a train someday but until then I want to ride in one. Mommy can we ride in a train?

Now imagine you are feeling the train. You can feel it coming before it is even in front of you. You hear the clacking and the humming. The loud horn blaring. bump bump clack clack...through your whole body. You notice it has a great rhythm to it. It grows louder as it quickly grows closer. Every thump and clack goes through your whole body but does so in a consistent beat while this beautiful rainbow slides by you to the same beat. You are so excited you have to start moving to the beat.. kick kick, rock rock, it's not enough.. you have are so amazed by this whole experience. the feelings, the vibrations in your body so intense you have no words.. you have to express it physically it's almost like you have no control over your own body.. you just FEEL so much... so you MUST tap your head in the same beat against the back of your seat. thump thump, bounce bounce, kick kick... ah yeah that's better. Now maybe some words need to go along with this to try to express how riveting this train music and how beautiful the colors and pictures are. Oh my that's so tiring and all so comforting and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

now the train is gone.. the arms go up... and you have a child that's sleeping and one that is so excited he can't speak just yet... but he will... oh how he will later.

Finally, you make it home. Your sleepy little music lover wakes just as you shut the car off and immediately starts bouncing and singing again. Your little engineer wants to start asking you if you saw this picture or that picture on the red car. No? How could you not? So he describes it to you. It sounds so beautiful you can't help but feel a little bad that you were so busy thinking about how frustrating it was to be stuck waiting on this annoying train arrg! Also, you wonder how he had time to see so much detail in a car that there and gone within a second. Fascinating! Oh there are more pictures to talk about... wow!! How does he see all that so fast?!  So tonight you know you'll be reading his favorite train book with him after he plays with his trains and cars, of course.


Little music lover is still dancing and twirling around the room while making up songs about her favorite toys and what she's doing. Oh now she's singing about what I'm doing... who knew that making dinner could be so musical and fun? She did. Ok... so lets sing about Moooooommy is putting the skilleeeet on the stooooooove... Mommmy is getting some millllllllk...dance twirl...
you know she will be passed out probably before she even eats at the rate she is moving and wearing herself down.

All in all wasn't it a great day? I think I will pay more attention to that train the next time it slows down my day.. and take the time to really feel it and enjoy it... maybe even try to figure out just how all that stuff works together to make such a great song. Who knew trains were musical instruments, a beautiful work of art AND mechanical learning fun... my children did. Autism isn't so bad is it? No, I don't think so. I think it's pretty educational, eye opening and never boring.

New things stirring....

Again, it's been awhile since I've posted. Life seems to get away from me at times. I suppose, I allow that at times. Sometimes you just want to enjoy the high while it's there and not feel like I'm missing it by writing things that I can write later.... of course, I still forget some of those things that I think I won't. haha..

anyway, I've got a lot of thoughts stirring and a new post is coming soon.. it's going to be a deep one. I'm super excited to share it.